A few weeks ago I had this woman appear at my till. To give you a visual, she was about five feet tall, probably in her late 50’s, had thinning black hair that stood up all over the place, glasses that magnified her eyes, and an unusual accent I couldn’t place. I knew she was going to be interesting. This is what followed:
Customer: *staring at the menu board in confusion* Soy water?
Me: Soy… water?
Customer: What do you have at Starbucks?
Me: We have lots of different things. Did you want something hot or cold? Coffee? No coffee?
Customer: *looks confused and mutters something about her girlfriend getting soy water*
Me: Was it maybe a chai tea latte? That could have soy and water in it…
Customer: *suddenly very decisive* I’ll have a grande Pike.
Me: Okay. Was that as well as the other drink?
At this point I really had no idea what she wanted, so I started throwing things out there.
Me: Was it steamed soy?
Me: Did you want just steamed soy?
Customer: Yeah yeah.
Me: Just soy, no flavour or anything?
Customer: *not looking convinced* Yeah.
Me: Or did it have coffee in it too?
Me: Was it like a latte?
Customer: *confused again*
Me: *feeling like I’m banging my head against a brick wall* Or maybe half coffee and half soy? Like a caffe misto?
Finally we got from “soy water” to a “grande soy caffe misto.” I’m still not convinced that’s actually what she wanted, and now that I think of it could have been an Americano misto, but she seemed okay with what she got.
The location I work at is extremely busy during summer. This was a particularly busy day, I was alone on bar, and our customers were all in a rush. To add to the stress, at this point we didn’t have air conditioning and it was extremely hot.
Customer: *loudly, standing at the hand off blocking everyone else from picking up their drinks* Where’s my Americano!?
Me: I’ve just got a couple drinks ahead of yours and then it will be right up.
Customer: I’m in a rush!
So was everyone else.
Me: I’m working as fast as I can. It will just be a few more minutes.
The customer continued to complain that his Americano wasn’t ready, but I was making some smoothies and had my back turned, so he ranted at some of the other customers instead. I poured a smoothie, put the lid on, and set it on the bar, not realizing that a little bit of the smoothie had dribbled down the side of the cup.
Customer: Look at this! You’ve got it all over the side of the cup!
As he was saying this, he was holding the cup upside down and spilling the smoothie all over the counter. The customer who the drink actually belonged to was standing behind him looking bewildered.
Me: *voice raised, trying really hard not to yell* Well now you’re getting it everywhere!
I then snatched the drink out of the man’s hand, slammed it down on the counter right-side-up, cleaned up the mess, and rushed his Americano so he would go away. During this time he ranted at the other customers waiting for their drinks about my “bad attitude.” Nobody replied to him. They seemed to agree that I had been provoked.
In the middle of a rush on a very busy day in August, I had this extremely awkward experience. A man came to order his coffee, and while he was ordering his wife walked up. She was wearing a tank top with no bra underneath, one side completely pulled down so that one of her breasts was fully exposed, breast feeding her baby. I then had to take her order while trying not to stare, and pretending I wasn’t extremely uncomfortable. She then proceeded to walk around like this for about 15 minutes before finally leaving.
I ordered that!
There’s no one else in line waiting for their drink:
Barista: I have a tall mocha coconut frappuccino!
Customer: Is that the mocha coconut frappuccino?
Customer: I ordered that!
TALL ONE PUMP MOCHA, COFFEE FRAPPUCCINO!
This happened at our drive thru today..
Me: “Hi, Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get for you
Customer: “Can I get a tall one pump mocha, coffee frappuccino?”
Me: “Do you mean a tall mocha frappuccino?”
Customer: “No… a tall one pump mocha, coffee frappuccino.”
Me: “But a tall only gets one pump mocha.”
Customer: “I’m a Starbucks Partner honey, I know what I want. But I don’t want the whipping cream and mocha drizzle on top…”
I think to myself…. “mocha frappuccinos don’t get mocha drizzle….”
Customer: “I have a registered Starbucks card, so I don’t pay for the mocha syrup.”
Me: “Ok… I’ll see you at the window…”
*punches in a Tall Mocha Frappuccino into the computer”
Me: “Hi, so a Tall Mocha Frappuccino?”
Customer: “No, It’s a Tall One Pump Mocha, Coffee Frappuccino! I have a registered Starbucks card, so I save money on the syrup.”
Me: “Um.. If I’m not mistaken, you don’t save money on the thick syrups. That goes for Mochas, White Mochas…”
Customer: “You know what? Just forget it… I’ll just get a Tall Coffee Frappuccino.”
Me: “But we’ve already made it… there’s one pump mocha in there.”
*Customer rolls her eyes*
Customer: “Just… what ever…”
*hands me her partner card and starbucks card*
*you can see her eyes starting to tear up from the anger*
Me: “Ok, I’ll punch it in your way…”
*rings in a tall coffee frappuccino, mocha sauce and prints receipt*
Me: “Um.. yeah, see, you don’t actually save money on the mocha because it’s a thick syrup.”
Customer: *looks at the receipt* "Oh…"
Free Internet? Why not!
Winner of the day: the man who sits at the table that is located in the corner of the store with his laptop to watch porn in BROAD DAYLIGHT.
AT A STARBUCKS.
A COFFEE SHOP.
WHYYYYYYYY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!?!?!
This happened during Happy Hour at a drive thru store.
Barista: “Can I get your name with the order?”
Female Customer: “Voldemort”
Recently a customer has started coming into our store in the afternoon and late evenings. He very rarely orders a drink, but what he always does is sit down at one of our comfy chairs, takes his shoes off, and then proceeds to throw his feet onto our tables and surf the internet for hours on end off his laptop.
We have had to kick him out at closing hours numerous times, and we’ve also found him passed out asleep, loitering in our lobby.
We’re still waiting for someone to muster up the courage to tell him that “while we appreciate your business, we can’t have you doing that in our store.”
They’re called Early Grey Tea Lattes!
A customer pulls up in drive thru during Happy Hour
Me: “Hi there, Welcome to Starbucks. What can I get for you?”
Customer: “I want a London Fog. Easy water.”
Me: “I’m sorry, Can you repeat that please?”
Customer: “London Fog, but easy on the water.”
the customer was too far away from the speaker to hear her.
Me: turns to another barista and mouths "What?"
Barista: “I think she wants an Earl Grey Tea Latte.”
Me: “So you would like an Earl Grey Tea Latte?”
Customer: “No, a London Fog”
Me: “And light water?”
Customer: “I want easy water”
Me: “Oh okay. And what size would you like?”
Customer: “The medium”
Me: “So a grande”
Customer: “No, a medium”
Me: “Our grande is our medium”
Me: “So a Grande Light Water Earl Grey Tea Latte?”
Customer: “No, I want a London Fog! Easy water and a medium size.”
Me: “We don’t have London Fogs! They’re called Early Grey Tea Lattes!”
I rock at this.
Manager: Can I get an iced venti extra ice, ice water?
Shift: Heck yes! AND I make the best iced venti extra ice, ice waters too!